Author's Notes:

This was written for a list contest involving the hottest sex. I shouldn't have taken part of it because I suck at sex-writing. But I've always been a sucker for a challenge. The best thing about this story--is that it's short. And it'll keep me from ever writing a sex scene again. :-)




"I want--"

"Yes. You in me. Now."


"Drawer. Let me-- Damn it. Where? Got it."

"Never call you a Boy Scout again."

"Sure, that's what you're saying now 'cause you want something."


"God, yes! More! No, not more fingers. You. Want you now. Fuck me, Methos."


"No. Want to see you. Want to see you in me. Want to watch your face. Want to watch you come."

"You first."

"You just sucked me dry, you old goat."

"You challenging me? I wield a wicked sword, you know."

"A broadsword--or is that just talk?"

"What does that feel like?"

"A teaser. Fuck me, damn it!"

"Shit, MacLeod! How'd you--Is that an asshole or a vacuum down there? Something Amanda taught you, no doubt."

"I'm a--good--student. Guess your sword is kind of broad."

"Complaining or complimenting?"

"Depends on your skill with it. Mmm. Right there. Yeah."

"You're hard again, MacLeod. And tight. And hot. And, Gods, where did you learn to do that?"

"Less talking, more fucking, Old Man.... Shit, shit, shit!"

"Old often means experienced, pup!"

"Bet you can't do that a--Oh, God! Please! Ah. Ahhh. Mmm. Ah. Ah. Shit. Slow it--I can't--I can't--No, don't. I won't be able--Damn you!"

"Knew I could out--[untranslatable]!"

"Not by much, Old Man. Are you drooling on me?"

"When I can move again, I'll be sure to wipe up any bodily fluids I may have deposited on you."

"We could shower."

"Carry me."

"Yeah, right. I'm the one who's spent. I came twice."

"Third time's the charm."

"Shit, Methos. Look at the time. Neither of us lasted a half an hour."

"Best damn half an hour I can remember. Of course, that's not saying much. Being so old--as you keep reminding me--means I must be quite forgetful--Ouch! You pinched me! You better believe I won't be forgetting that, MacLeod!"

"Must have been a randy quickening you took. Too bad it wasn't a quiet one."

"Quickening? I haven't taken a quickening."

"But you said--you told me you'd been challenged, Methos."

"I was. I bopped him on the nose with my sword and told him to come back when he was older and worth my time."


"What are you saying? That this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't thought--Damn it, MacLeod, I have never--okay, well, maybe not never--but I didn't lie to you just to get a chance to fuck you. I've made it this long without--"

"How long?"


"How long have you wanted me, Methos?"

"I plead the fifth."

"We're not in America."

"Doesn't matter. I'm not into self-incrimination."

"Not part of your rules for survival?"

"Got it in one."

"And I guess one Immortal loving another isn't part of those rules either."

"Depends on what you mean by loving--emotional or physical."

"I can fuck you, but I can't love you?"

"That's not what I--what?"

"Or can I love you, but not fuck you?"


"What happens if I want to do both?"

"You can fuck me anytime you want."

"And love you?"

"I...I can't dictate your feelings."

"But can you reciprocate them?"

"Jesus, MacLeod, you're the one pissed because you think I tricked you into going to bed with me."

"That's not why I'm pissed, Methos."


"No, I'm pissed because I gave you the best half an hour you can remember because I thought you needed to burn off a quickening. If I had known differently--I would have made it at least a full hour."

"Oh. Well, I don't have anything scheduled for the rest of the afternoon, you know. In fact, I think I'm clear to the end of the millennium."

"So we can party like it's 2999?"

"MacLeod, are you telling me you are familiar with the words of The Artist Formerly Known As?"


"You don't know Queen but you know the Purple One? I'm shocked!"

"Anne liked him, okay?"

"So, tell me, Highlander, you wanna take a ride in my Little Red Corvette? Hey, hey! Careful with the stick-shift! Hmm. Nice clutch. I take it you're an experienced driver? Oh, yeah, you got my engine going now."

"Don't you ever shut up?"

"Three thousand zero zero, party over, oops! Out of time. So tonight we're gonna party like it's twenty-nine ninety--urk!"

"Knew I could find a better use for that mouth."


"I'm going to fuck you, Methos."

"Just be aware that I charge a penalty for early withdrawal."

"And I'm also going to love you.... No, you don't have to reply. You survive your way and I'll survive mine, okay?"

"Damn you, Duncan.... Okay, I love you, too. But only until 2999."

"What happens after that?"

"You'll have to convince me all over again."

"Deal. Maybe I better start practicing. How's that?"

"I'd say you're off to a good start. Ooh, that tickles. Mmm. That's nice. And that's plain wicked. Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate wickedne--Fuck! So that's why your sword's curved...."